Samosa and the arrange marriage
Title seems weird but I
am sure people or rather boys in their mid and late twenties can relate to it.
This title tries to highlight the agony of the guy who fortunately or
unfortunately was not able to get "settled" via a love marriage and
hence has to rely on the centuries old "arrange marriage" social setup
to follow the commandments of Charles Darwin to propagate his offspring
into this world. Previous sentence was not meant for female/feminists
readers and it should be read as :
This title tries to
highlight the agony of the guy who could not came across his soulmate
while walking through the park /mall/office premises/college/DTC
bus/Metro/Pizza hut/ Mac Donald’s etc and hence has to rely on
"arrange marriage" to find that special someone
So the story begins with
the creation of matrimonial profiles over various portals. In order to squeeze
last penny from the desperate or rather despo ( in college lingo ) guy or gal ,
these marriage portals have done segmentation to the core . Some are segmented
language wise , some religion , some caste etc. Being versed with both Hindi
& Urdu I was unsure which one should I target to reach maximum audience
with minimum subscription price . Irony was that there are specialized portals
which deal only with the Alumni of IITs and IIMs , some were catering to industrialists
under the name of "elite matrimony" ! Despite myself being a very analytical person in terms of spending , I still managed to get myself enrolled in 3 leading matrimonial
portals with the paid services . After analyzing them for few months , I came to
know that I made a fool of myself as all three have nearly same database
!
Anyways let’s not
distract and focus on Samosa ! So creation profile over matrimonial portals was
followed by series of "cold callings" ! Appointment to visit
potential offspring carrier ... I mean soul mate/ life partner
is normally fixed over weekends.
Stage is now set and
here comes weekend. Prospective groom dresses his best by avoiding wearing T
shirt in order to avoid PDPB ( Public Display of pot belly) . On entering the
potential bride's premises it is usually more of match from Chak De
India movie with man to man marking strategy !
Girl's mother is marked
to my mother, Aunt to my sis while Father & uncle are marked to me. I
never realized I am such a good " Player" ;-)
I was placed on the
interrogation seat and thorough interrogation was carried out . Sharp
gazes of fellow interrogators were no less than water boarding technique!!
There were subtle moments of silence in between cross questioning .It is
to be noted that till now "potential " bride is not at the crime
scene.
Finally my reward for
withstanding interrogation was arrived in the form of refreshments. And
here comes the entry of lead character of this story - Samosa!! Mr. Samosa was
strategically placed near me and his arrival was coincident to girl's .
Apparently girl too was seated strategically at an angle of minus 90 degrees
from me. Hence I could not steal a glimpse of her just by
turning eyes . I had to rotate my neck towards her to know that she is
too is a homo sapiens.
While I was trying hard to
get glimpse of girl and to initiate a short conversation with her , my
prospective in laws filled my plate with mammoth sized Samosa and poured chatney over it . Now the problem is - I am normally at ease
while eating Samosa with hand without using spoon. However at this formal set
up I have to demonstrate my skill set of eating Samosa with spoon with bare
minimum noise. Hence the focus which was
initially on girl get shifted to Mr. Samosa. Ironically this samosa was stuffed
with noodles , so there was the need to exercise extra caution!!
Somehow I came out of
ordeal and the meeting was over in some time. While driving back home I can
only recollect on man to man marking & Samosa!! Now onwards I have decided
to convey beforehand that I am allergic to Samosa !!
Way to express your emotions about the 'samosa' which the never-to-be-in-laws used as a bait to judge the prospective groom's character.. �� And you fell for it.. ��
ReplyDeleteBTW great blog.. ��