Samosa and the arrange marriage

Samosa and the arrange marriage  

    

Title seems weird but I am sure people or rather boys in their mid and late twenties can relate to it. This title tries to highlight the agony of the guy who fortunately or unfortunately was not able to get "settled" via a love marriage and hence has to rely on the centuries old "arrange marriage" social setup  to follow the commandments of Charles Darwin to propagate his offspring into this world. Previous sentence was not meant for  female/feminists  readers and it should be read as  :

This title tries to highlight the agony of the guy who could not came across his soulmate  while walking through the park /mall/office premises/college/DTC bus/Metro/Pizza hut/ Mac Donald’s etc and hence has to  rely on   "arrange marriage" to find that special someone 

So the story begins with the creation of matrimonial profiles over various portals. In order to squeeze last penny from the desperate or rather despo ( in college lingo ) guy or gal , these marriage portals have done segmentation to the core . Some are segmented language wise , some religion , some caste etc. Being versed with both Hindi & Urdu I was unsure which one should I target to reach maximum audience with minimum subscription price . Irony was that there are specialized portals which deal only with the Alumni of IITs and IIMs , some were catering to industrialists under the name of "elite matrimony" ! Despite myself  being a very analytical person in terms of spending , I still managed to get myself enrolled in 3 leading matrimonial portals with the paid services . After analyzing them for few months , I came to know that I made a fool of myself as  all three have nearly same database !

Anyways let’s not distract and focus on Samosa ! So creation profile over matrimonial portals was followed by series of "cold callings" !  Appointment to visit  potential  offspring carrier ... I mean soul mate/ life partner  is normally  fixed over weekends.  

Stage is now set and here comes weekend. Prospective groom dresses his best by avoiding wearing T shirt in order to avoid PDPB ( Public Display of pot belly) . On entering the potential bride's premises it is usually  more of  match from Chak De India movie with man to man marking strategy !

 Girl's mother is marked to my mother, Aunt to my sis while Father & uncle are  marked to me. I never realized I am such a good " Player" ;-) 

I was placed on the interrogation seat and  thorough interrogation was carried out . Sharp gazes of fellow interrogators were no less than water boarding technique!! There were  subtle moments of silence in between cross questioning .It is to be noted that till now "potential " bride is not at the crime scene. 

Finally my reward for withstanding interrogation was arrived in the form of  refreshments. And here comes the entry of lead character of this story - Samosa!! Mr. Samosa was strategically placed near me and his arrival was coincident to girl's . Apparently girl too was seated strategically at an angle of minus 90 degrees  from me. Hence I could not steal a glimpse  of  her just by turning eyes  . I had to rotate my neck towards her to know that she is too is a homo sapiens. 

While I was trying hard to get  glimpse of girl and to initiate a short conversation with her , my prospective in laws filled  my plate with mammoth sized Samosa and poured chatney over  it . Now  the problem is - I am normally  at ease while eating Samosa with hand without using spoon. However at this formal set up I have to demonstrate my skill set of eating Samosa with spoon with bare minimum noise. Hence the  focus which was initially on girl get shifted to Mr. Samosa. Ironically this samosa was stuffed with noodles , so there was the  need to exercise extra caution!!

Somehow I came out of ordeal and the meeting was over in some time. While driving back  home I can only recollect on man to man marking & Samosa!! Now onwards I have decided to convey beforehand that I am allergic to Samosa !!